I loved her then but how do I love her now

In my last post I listed all the wonderful things that happened when we first started dating. But here it is 6 years later and several kids down the road. Now don't get me wrong it hasn't been the easiest journey in the world. There have been some very VERY difficult road bumps but I couldn't imagine anyone else that I would've wanted to experience them with *through eyes that started to get watery*. Jodi has been the most amazing woman I have ever meet from the moment that I started getting to know her personally. At first I was just trying to impress her and try to show her how strong I was but at the same time impress her with my intellect and how considerate I was of her feelings. But as relationships usually go I started to show her the lazy and weak side of me. I hope that she didn't feel like she didn't really know me when she said the eternal "yes". I know that she was very suprised with certain aspects of my personality that kind of felt like I had sprang on her or she felt were completely resolved. Even YEARS after we had told one another that we would be with each other for all of eternity. I know that we can both be difficult some times. But I am so grateful that the woman that lays beside me in bed every night wants me there. She wants to be next to me, even when it feels like no one else in the world would even fathom it. She has forgiven me for so much and she continues to love me and she sees me fail over and over again and she continues to love me. Even though its hard some times to want to wrap her arms around me after we both agree and resolve that there isnt anyone else that each of us would rather be with. We hold one another and continue to realize that what we are feeling together is real and tangible and it is a divine gift from god. That the love we share together is such an amazing blessing that he has bestowed upon us and through that love we have created 4 amazing and beautiful children. He has felt in his immense heart that an incredibly unworthy soul such as myself deserves to take care of his children for a short while and the best part is that he has given her to me because he knows that I couldn't do it alone and I know that she is the absolute best candidate to help me when I fall so short.
I always look at her in amazement with how strong of a person she is and how together she is when i'm a complete train wreck of a mess.
After almost 7 amazing years together she has become more beautiful and fascinating and motherly and softened and generous and kind hearted and the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. Love takes one day at a time, one minute, one second. It is our choice as to whether we want the love to grow or to recede. It's not easy but knowing that the greatest blessing in your life will always be in your bed beside you at the end of the day will always be worth it.
I will love you from now until forever Jodi Lyn Putnam. You are my everything.