Thanksgiving day bummer

I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving. Not here in the Putnam house. It all started out well but in the end it turned out to be a real lousy thanksgiving.
This was the first year ever that Jakes parents have ever invited us up to their house for Thanksgiving dinner. I was ok with going up there HONESTLY. I was going to take some food from my parents house to eat. For those of you who don't know I have a problem eating at certain places, I am trying to get over it but I just don't trust people. So we were over at my parents waiting for the food to get done so I could grab my plate and go to Salt Lake. Jeffery asked me if Grandma and Grandpa Putnam were going to have Candied yams and I told him to ask Jake. So Jake called and asked them and they said yes but there are Walnuts on them. I freaked out. I am MAJORLY allergic to nuts. I know I was taking my own food, but even then the boys couldn't eat anything with nuts on. If they eat nuts and kiss me on the cheek I get a rash on my face. So rather than letting them eat nuts and avoiding them giving loves and such I just don't allow nuts. So needless to say we didn't go up there and it is all my fault because Jakes family feels like it is a personal attack on them because I wouldn't allow my kids to eat there. Jakes family even knows that I am allergic to nuts so I feel that it was a personal attack on me. Jakes sister said well we have different food but there is always the what-if they touched the food without nuts and the food with nuts with the same spoon I would still have a reaction. So blog readers give me your opinion I think that it was rude and they should try harder to accomadate me for my food allergies since it is MESSING WITH MY LIFE!!!!! But they think that I am just being rude by not allowing my kids to eat there. My mother in law is allergic to cats really badly and I make sure my kids don't touch the neighbors cat if we are going up to their house to visit them. Maybe next time we go up there I will rub the cat all over them to make sure they have plenty of cat dander on them after all they have the right to be able to play with cats right?